An Ode to... (I'm not going to put you on blast)

You ever have a relationship that you wonder why you're in it. This relationship when it's 'good' is great and when it's 'bad' is awful. You're not stupid or crazy, but no one sees the good in it. You stay in it. You actually like it, for what it is. I have one of those relationships (actually a few). But one in particular is crazy, real crazy. Over 20 years I've had a crush, grown close and loved (continue to love) this woman. At one point we were not happy with us. Actually, I was not happy with us. I had these fairy tale notions of what our love should be. I started to put restrictions and bars around my love. I realized that love does not work that way. Last night I told her that sometimes I wish I didn't feel this way about her, but I realize that she feels a 'way' about me. I cannot judge our relationship because it is what it is. Over these 20 years we cannot get away from each other. Something I guess you can call it fate keeps bringing me back to her to enjoy 'us'. What is 'us'? I don't know. I've realized I don't care because only 'us' can define it.

I realize that I judge her on my other relationships and what I think this relationship should be instead of enjoying it for what it is. Naturally, we will grow into something special. Actually, we have. We can be open with each other without judgment. No, I can be open without judgmental eyes or ears. She never judges me even when I'm bordering on crazy. She continues to loves me. I think sometimes she questions why, too. This relationship is more because how many people can say that they are loved unconditionally. How many people can say that? They have an outlet for all of their trials and tribulations. This relationship is rare. This relationship is wonderful because it is 'us'. If this relationship does not become the 'ONE,' (which she doesn't believe in and that's a whole another story) I will have to learn from the lessons and blessings it brings.

There is no right, no wrong, there is just what is. That best describes 'us'. Don't you think?