Healthy Habits (or Lack Thereof)

Good morning! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. It's Good Friday, April 10, 2009. I fell off the workout bandwagon. It's time for me to get back on. My life has settled so I can put it back in my routine again. But my life is lacking consistency. Consistency will get me to the place I want to go. I'm learning to chip away at things. I cannot take big blocks off at a time. That only happens when I'm chipping away. I've always a weight problem as far as I can go back. Food was my outlet for many of my problems. I would sneak and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all times at night when I wasn't feeling good about myself. PB&J was my comfort food of choice. I still eat PB&J. But my peanut butter is organic, and my jelly is strawberry preserves. I never realized how I would eat to make it feel better. Then I would feel worst all of over because I was still fat. I would start various workout programs just to start eating bad again. I know what not to do, but the action is not behind it. I have all the information. I have the workout magazines and books. I have the cookbooks, but what stops me? The only thing that stops me is that I haven't dealt with a lot of internal problems. I have to project from inside to out. Then I have to stop judging myself on anyone's else platform.

I am a unique individual. I have to learn to celebrate myself for who I am not who the media or others want me to be. I will never be a size 2. I don't think I ever wanted that. I want to tone and fit. I want to be healthy. I have given up alcohol for many reasons. The primary reason is that I want life to intoxicate me. I want to be that free with myself without a stimulant. I want to throw my inhibitions to the wind. I have to give up beef. I don't eat pork (not for the most part). I slip every now and then). I cannot eat anymore fried foods. Damn! Damn! Damn! That means no more Popeye's for me or Manchu's. But there's so many cool alternatives. That would mean eat more sushi. I love sushi. I'm always looking at what I'm giving up. It's time to look at this new lifestyle change as necessary and as the glass half-full.

Hmm, it's interesting. I feel better when I do the right things. Why it's so hard to do it consistency? I'm still working on the internal. These demons have been eating away at my soul, and I've been eating to compensate. It's time to rid these demons of its power. I'm my way to the gym. Again, it's Good Friday. I have to fast today anyway.