I woke up with an epiphany. I've been too nice too long. I've allowed myself to be a doormat for others. I've been walked on in the name of 'niceness.' Not anymore. A. Kenyatta Parks does not play that sh*t. I cannot. If my niceness leaves me depleted, it has an adverse effect. For years I was trying to martyr by helping everyone else. I've set up boundaries for everyone in my life. I know when I have had enough. I speak up for myself because no one else will.
For years I tried to be nice because of my insecurities and fears. I didn't think anyone would want to be around me because of me. I used my 'niceness' to lure them in, but often I felt used. I couldn't be compassionate with others because I wasn't compassionate with myself. Everything starts with yourself even compassion. I often did nice things to get my desired result. I couldn't help anyone else until I realized how wonderful and powerful I was. It's interesting as I've been embarking on this spiritual journey of how I've learned so much about myself. I've been focusing on others for so long that I forgot about myself.
It's time to take my life back. It's time to be nice to myself. Often, I found it difficult to be compassionate when I felt hurt and when there wasn't any closure. I have to set up my boundaries and be open with others about their boundaries. I can effectively say, 'NO,' without remorse. I'm learning to be compassionate. I can demonstrate compassion when I take others' feeling into consideration while not trampling over my own in the process. I know now that I am powerful enough to give what I have without losing anything. In my compassion for others I am making myself stronger.
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