Being Joyful

Good morning! This is a new day to put action to my words. I wake up today with a new sense of joy. I am joyful to being alive. This is a new day to change how I am into the woman I was born to be. Every day is a blessing because every day I can learn from the past and elevate my game. Unlike Lebron James I do not need a team to win a championship. I will win when I know I am free from all of the bullshyt of denial, fear and pain. When my first choice is love, faith and hope I've overcame and won. This is an internal process that I cannot allow anyone to deter me from. I have to understand that I cannot share myself with anyone until I know what I have to share. I've been getting down on myself about not being in committed relationship in my 30s. I have to have an intimate relationship with myself before I can truly commit to someone else. I understand that. I am fully aware of my faults. I want to change, and today is a new day. I have the ability to change. I have to be patient with myself, but permanent change will not happen overnight. I have to give myself leeway (more like an inch not a mile).

I'm looking outside my window, and it will be a beautiful day not because the sun is shining or the clouds are not gray. It's the day. It's understanding that my light shines from within outward. It's understanding that nothing can deter me from changing except me. I cannot blame anything. Accepting responsibility is not the same accepting guilt. We cannot be guilty about being human. It's a process. We all have different journeys. We cannot be jealous of the next man's journey, for he/she may have something you have and vice versa. For example I may look at a friend and say he has it all (cars, houses, money, etc), and he look at me and say I have it all (peace, love, self-awareness). When you look at someone you cannot look at the monetary things. Like my grandmother said, "You cannot bring your gold with you to heaven." Work on the things that you can control (your actions), have faith in the Divine and let the chips fall where they may. Trust the Divine and know that you have everything that you need at any particular given time.

Once you have the trust in Divine Order, you can have that joy in your heart that tells you that you will be ok. My boy Terance stated that he "often wonder how someone can rejoice or be joyful all the time especially during difficult experiences? Unlike happiness which is based on circumstances, joy is a positive and confident outlook on life despite our circumstances. Knowing that Divine is in control and that love surrounds us gives security and confidence. No matter what happens, we should (have) delight in the Divine and praise the Divine for the goodness we have." I leave you with that!