"I am in a new place in my life and it is strange but familiar to me." - Gia Hamilton

I read this on Facebook on an old classmate's status. I've been trying to go back for so long. There were things I forgot in my old age. I was closer to God when I was younger. I used to talk to God all of the time. I was closer to myself. I didn't care about all of the glitter and gold. It was about truth and faith. When I was upset, I had my grandmother and music to console me. I listen to music still, but it's different. While learning new things, I cannot forget the old. I cannot forget about going to my room, locking my door, listening to music and forgetting the world. Even in a relationship I cannot forget about being with myself.

I used to write poetry all of the time to give my feelings worth through words, stanzas and phrases. It was something more than poetry. It was my experiences and feelings canonized. I have to get away from the idiot box, television. I used to read all of the time. I have to get away and walk. I used to walk everywhere. I got this car and cannot walk down the street. I bought a bike a few months ago, and I haven't rode it like I said I would. I cannot get down on myself. I just have to do it.

It's crazy how your life change when you live with someone else. You cannot lose yourself within that relationship. You still have to fight for your individuality. I'm not an idiot box watcher, but I became one because my significant other watches it all of the time. When she is reading, she has the idiot box on. I cannot be an idiot. I forgot that I made my own space when I was living at home. I thought I didn't have to create that space because it is mine. Actually, it's ours. I have to create my space to stay sane.

Let me get back to the basics. I used to run 5 miles a day. I'm back to 2 miles. It's time to get back to that. I used to depend on me. I have to get back to that. I used to read a book a week. I have to get back to that. I used to pray every day. I have to get back to that. I used to write poetry to get it out. I have to get back to that. I will get back to that. I've recognize what I need to get back in my life. I've realized what I don't need in my life. Growing is understanding what God intended you to be. I'm growing.