It's been about a month since I written my last post. My last blog was about action. Well, I haven't. I've stood still for about a month. Last night I was disgusted and upset with myself about my inability to act. I'm stuck in a rut. Why? I cannot understand it. I see others doing what I should. I cannot get down on myself, but I cannot live like this anymore. I cannot live with one foot inside and the other outside. I have to bust that door wide-open. I had a few things going as far as the promotions and then it stopped. I got frustrated and downright angry at others not looking at myself. I have to call a spade a spade. As of right now I am a failure. I've not lived up to the abilities, intelligence or talents. God gave me all of these, and I am wasting it. I cannot live or lie to myself anymore.
I have to wake up and smell the coffee. I have to understand that this is it. I have to live each day like it's my last. I cannot have any regrets. I have to own my decisions. I have to love wholeheartedly. I have to be honest with myself as well as others. I have to understand that I cannot be afraid to be great. I cannot blame others for not going forward. That is my choice. I have to continue to fight for what I want because everyone else is. I have to understand that I can change my fortune. I've been given all of these gifts from God, and I haven't used them. That is blasphemous.
I am angry not anyone but myself. Now it's not the time to get down on myself. I cannot because that won't help matters. I have to get this started today. I have to stop talking. I have to work it out. I can sit around and feel like I've been left behind. I have. I don't belong in the circle of friends I have because I am not doing shyt. Potential is nothing until it's realized. The only person that needs to realize it is me. I'm tired. It's time for CHANGE.
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